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19May/150

Changing obstetricians

When we found out I was pregnant, we pretty much had no idea what to do next. Then I noticed that on the pregnancy test (2 for 5 Euro, Kruidvat!) it said: if you are pregnant, make an appointment with your GP. So I did.

While in the waiting room, the assistant told me that something had gone wrong with my appointment, and instead of the female doctor, I would get the male doctor, if that was ok? I said: "That depends, what kinds of tests are you going to do?" And she said: "Did you do one yourself?" I said: "Yes, I did two." (Why waste the extra one, eh?) And she said: "Oh, no, then we're not going to test anything. You can just ask the doctor any questions you might have."

After a few more minutes of sitting dumbfounded in the waiting room (what? No bloodwork? Bloodpressure test? Iron, nothing?), I realized I had no idea what questions I might ask the doctor, so I decided to leave. The assistant said: "You can make an appointment with an obstetrician." And I thought: "Oh, ok."

It turns out that during pregnancy, the obstetrician is your doctor. The GP has nothing to do with it. The first appointment is after around 9-10 weeks, then about once every month, gearing up to once a week close to delivery. In the Netherlands, coverage depends on whether or not your insurance has a contract with a practice, so check with them first, before deciding on one.

First experience
I picked an OB close to home. We waited a few weeks for the appointed day and time. The first meeting was... ok. Nothing more than that. It wasn't that she was unfriendly, it wasn't anything I could put my finger on. But it was very businesslike, and she was more focused on the medical questions than anything else.

The second meeting was with a different person, at the same practice. It seemed standard, the handful of practices I'd investigated were all group practices: you get whomever you happen to get. This woman dove right in, again, very businesslike. Again, not unfriendly as such, but also not very interested.

We almost got into an argument, over something my mother had warned me about (she did not go into labour, even when the baby was ready to come out). She said: "We don't do anything with that information." After a brief discussion, she explained that every birth is different and that these kinds of things are not hereditary. That's all well and good, but I would prefer it if you would simply make a note of it somewhere, and kept it in the back of your mind, instead of dismissing me out of hand, thank you. I just... Didn't have any feeling of connection with these women.

Another experience
My ultrasounds were done at another practice, as the one I was going to didn't offer that. What a world of difference. I think I met about six different obstetricians there (some in training), they were without fail very kind and went out of their way to help me. One of them asked me what I weighed, and I had no idea. She said: "Didn't your obstetrician weigh you?" and I looked at her blankly: "...No....?"

I talked to a friend of mine (also pregnant, suddenly everyone is pregnant, I swear), and she said: "If there's no 'click', then you should switch! Try mine!" I thought about it, and realized: would I want one of these women to stand at my bedside during the most terrifying and least-looked-forward-to experience of my life? The answer was no. So yes, a break-up was in the future.

The switch
A week or so later, it was a done deal. I broke up with the old practice over the phone, and picked up my (thin) file.

The first appointment with the new obstetrician (the one recommended by my friend) was lovely. She explained a lot about what was happening to me, and what was normal to feel and experience during this time. She measured my blood pressure, weight, felt up my womb, and listened to the baby's heartbeat.

At this practice, you get a regular obstetrician during your whole pregnancy. At GO time, there's a chance you get one of her colleagues, but she said: "I know how all of my colleagues work, and can vouch for them as I would for myself." Even after having just met her, that was already good enough for me. It feels right.

All in all, it was surprisingly easy to switch, and I am much much happier for it. So that's my advice: not happy with your obstetrician? SWITCH!

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6May/152

*Crickets chirping* – Or: Phase two

I know, I know, it's been really quiet here of late. The long and the short of it is: life got in the way. We got married (yay!), we went honeymooning in Sicily (yum!), and immediately after the honeymoon I started a new job, that required me to travel 1:45 hours every day, one way (so 3,5 hours per day)(urgh!). It all left me with very little time to undertake much of anything, or have the time to write anything about it, let alone work up pretty pictures to show you.

And then.... I got pregnant (yay! I think). Let me tell you: being pregnant, no matter how wanted, is no picnic. Somewhere near the end of the first trimester an acquaintance said to me: "Enjoy this time!" And I just looked at her blankly thinking: "Enjoy what exactly? The nausea? The fatigue? The constipation? The painful breasts? The crazy sense of smell? The raging, out of control hormones? The constant hunger, and the idiotic need to pee every few hours (yes, also at night)? Enjoy??? ARE YOU INSANE, WOMAN?" Wisely though, I kept my mouth shut.

It took me 37 years to get used to this body. And now I no longer recognise it. Everything is beyond my control. Thankfully, it got a little better after the first trimester ended (only a few weeks ago now). I'll not bore you with more details (ligament pain? Anyone heard of that? I hadn't, but I have it now!), but suffice it to say that of late, my world has been revolving more around obstetricians, strollers, cots, and the like, than around exploring Amsterdam and blogging about it.

I was actually working on this epic post about the organisation of our wedding, and all the lovely addresses I found in Amsterdam. Seriously, everything from flowers to custommade rings, shoes, underwear and tailored dresses. But it's still photoless, and I'm working up the courage to get to it.

The thing is, as far as hip and happening places are concerned, there are other blogs much more up-to-date and active than mine (like: yourlittleblackbook or Story 154). I think I've landed in another phase altogether. It'll be different kinds of finds, it will be different musings, tips and realizations. But as long as you don't mind, and are willing to grow with me, I'll try to keep this up!

Drop me a line!

Filed under: life 2 Comments
7Dec/141

“Your money is no good here”

My mum was visiting me in De Baarsjes. We went grocery shopping (Levi and I are doing rehearsal Christmas dinner today) and our last stop was the Turkish corner market. I walked around, gathering things and putting them on the counter, to be paid in one go when I was ready. My mum got a bunch of spring onions and put them in a separate place on the counter.

I said: "Mum, don't be ridiculous, just put it with mine!" And she said: "No no, you don't have to pay for me, I'll get it myself." Incredulous, I looked at Yusuf, the proprietor, who had been following this exchange with interest. I walked back to the counter, put her onions with my fruit and veg and moved her away from the counter. She struggled, making to move to pay for her onions herself. I looked at Yusuf and said: "Yusuf! Say something!"

And Yusuf, my trusty friend, friendly but firmly told my mother: "I'm sorry madam, but your money is not valid here."

18Aug/140

Summer in a glass

Living in De Baarsjes in Amsterdam has its perks. Like our Turkish corner market. We had one near our old place, and we have one right opposite our flat now.

Where it took me four years to coax even the slightest smile from the proprietor of our old Turkish store, the man from our new store I are on a first name basis already. We wave, we smile, we talk about the weather, he sells me fruit and veg. And he gives me tips.

"You should try the water melon, it's delicious." Me: "Neh... I don't really like water melon..." But I did get a piece for Levi, because Yusuf said it was good. And man, am I convinced! Juicy, sweet, refreshing, amazing!

I buy a new piece every few days now. Yusuf cuts me an eighth if I ask, and at around 1 euro a kilo, it's really cheap.

So it's chilled watermelon after dinner, and my best discovery of the Summer: watermelon smoothie. Works well with a banana and anything that has a little tartness to it, like peaches, strawberries or (gold) kiwis. When I told Yusuf about my newfound love for watermelon, thanks to him, he put me onto passion fruit for my smoothie. Summer in a glass, I tell you.

So if the weather is dreary, like it is today, and you need a shot of Summer, make a smoothie!
- 2 slices of watermelon, deseeded
- 1 banana
- 1 peach, gold kiwi, green kiwi or handfull of strawberries
- A big dollop of good Greek yogurt
Blend well. Drink with straw and umbrella!

6Aug/140

De Broodzaak: scam or lazy?

On my way to Utrecht this morning, I decided to up my intake of vitamins with one of those freshly pressed orange juices at De Broodzaak.

The girl right in front of me thought the same, but upon seeing that there were no small bottles left to fill up, she changed her mind. "Hm," I thought. I know the bigger bottle is more (400mls vs 350 mls) for only slightly less (2,50 euro vs 2), but when your income is coming in in a slow trickle, euro by euro, every 50 cents counts.

I asked the guy making sandwiches if there were any smaller bottles left. "No," he said, decisively. "Can I put less in a bigger bottle then?" I asked. He looked slightly annoyed, mumbled something and disappeared in the back.

He came back with -surprise!- a whole box full of 250ml bottles. I filled one up, payed at the cash register and went to catch my train.

Now what was that? Was it just this guy being too lazy to go get a box? Or is this some weird (slightly dirty) sales ploy? Did he think I wouldn't blog about it?

Ok readers, here's your challenge: try to buy a small freshly pressed OJ at De Broodzaak when you are at Amsterdam Central Station, leave me a reply as to whether there were any small bottles, and if there weren't, if a little pressure makes them magically appear. I'm curious now!

De Broodzaak: scam or lazy?

28Jul/140

Fun and wonder at Edelwise Festival

After the rain stops at around three, people of all kinds flock to Edelwise Festival in Rembrandtpark on Saturday the 26th for a dose of music and fun. The average age of Edelwise visitors is a little higher than at the usual dance festivals. But then, it is decidedly not like other festivals any way. It's not huge, with one main stage, one smaller stage and a secret stage. But there are a lot of extras, that twinkle like little gems, waiting to be discovered.

Edelwise festival 2014 main stage by day

Dotan is starting to play at the main stage when we arrive. I don't think I've ever been to a festival that had an actual band on main stage. Eventhough the music is good, and the vibe is mellow and lightly festive, it's all a little too laidback for me. Also, the sound leaves a little to be desired. Everyone's just standing around, talking, and it's a bad sign that we can actually hear eachother. Music from the other stages can be heard over Dotan's Stolen Dance.

Twinkling extras
There's big tents with living rooms set up inside, they're a hoot. Little shops with lovely festival trinkets and tote bags. Face painting, hula hoops, silent disco, a photo booth, there's loads to do! There's a puzzle shack, where you get locked in and can only unlock the door if you figure out the solution to the puzzles. There's table tennis, and at a small white tent with a big rainbow arch in front there is a wedding going on.

We decide to take a seat in the living room where there's silent comedy, everyone sitting around with headphones on, listening to Stefan Pop, who tells us absurd, funny stories with a big, infectuous smile (he's a regular at Toomler, I gather. It's in dutch, but if you can handle that, go! He's good!).

Festival trinkets at Edelwise stallsSilent disco at Edelwise Festival 2014Puzzle shack at Edelwise FestivalFood area at Edelwise Festival 2014

Food and surprises
When we go for food, pizzas are 4 coins, burgers 3, and organic fries are 1,5 coins (one coin costs 2,70, you do the math). And even in the food area there's entertainment. Pretty girls in tiroler-like outfits hand out bingo cards and there's prizes to win (a mad suit, sunglasses and more).

It's the kind of festival where you are surprised on a regular basis. A remote control airplane does stunts over our heads. A lilliputter on a mini motorbike zooms through the crowd at high speed. Someone with a soap bubble gun shoots random people.

Lukewarm
Back at the main stage, Kraak & Smaak have started their set. It's lukewarm at best, there are a couple of bodies moving here and there, but the crowd remains uninspired to dance. Still, with smiling faces all around, it's a happy scene. We're starting to think that this is it. A lovely day, calm and fun.

La Pegatina!
But then the lively guys of La Pegatina storm the stage and man, those Spaniards know how to party! All seven of them play and sing like their lives depend on it. People flock to the main stage and the crowd goes wild. The band gets them to dance along, sing along, take their shirts off: this is interactive music making.

La Pegatina at Edelwise Festival 2014The guys even do a rendition of "Er staat een paard in de gang" (there's a horse in the hallway), a Dutch carnaval classic, but then La Pegatina-style. Hundreds of people are singing along. Epic! They play with infectuous enthusiasm and humour. I'm dancing my ass off. This is the most fun I've ever had at a festival or concert. And all of their music is downloadable on their website (www.lapegatina.com)

Fun and wonder
Afterwards, there's a DJ with a live singer. There's an interlude with happy hardcore from the nineties, also with two live singers and a group of enthusiastic dancers doing the classic "hakken" dance. And veteran Joost van Bellen is the closing act on the main stage. But honestly, nothing is as much fun after La Pegatina.

Edelwise is not a festival that you have to go to, for this DJ or that band. It's not about the headliners. Instead, it brings you a day of fun and childlike wonder, in the gorgeous setting of Rembrandtpark.

Edelwise Festival 2014 in Rembrandtpark at night

24Jun/145

Sanity and happiness over money

Last Saturday, the 21st of June, marked the beginning of Summer. During yoga class, a few days before, our instructor asked us to go back to the intention that we set for ourselves at the beginning of the year. Eventhough I don't usually 'do' intentions for the new year, this year mine was to have fun.

Having finished my studies, having gone on holiday and, upon returning immediately having found a job, I was elated. Convinced that this would be my year. Safe to say though, that life is what happens while you're making other plans. Fun is not exactly what the job turned out to be. Thirty lawyers coming, but most of all going, in a period of ten years is a lot for a small law firm. It should have been a heads up to me that something was amiss. But, not knowing what you do not know, how can you... well, know?

Impossible
In the first three months that I was there, four people stopped working there (only two of them lawyers, the other two supporting staff, albeit the same role). Being owned and run by one person, that one person has immense influence over the atmosphere in the office. This one person is very self-centered, spoiled (does not deal well with no for an answer) and at times just plain hysterical. Screaming matches over nothing. Screaming matches because she did not get her way. Or just screaming. I'm not saying she's a bad person. Just impossible to work with. Oh excuse me, work for.

She would manage to hand you a task that would last at least an hour a few minutes before you were due off, and insist it had to be done the same day. She would do this nearly every day the first few months, until it started to dawn on me that she wasn't doing it by accident. She would also call each morning at 8.31 to check if you were actually there.

The tall one
We would have conversations like this:
Boss: "Give me the number of that man."
Employee: "Which man?"
Boss: "He was at that meeting. The tall one."
Employee: "I wasn't at that meeting, I have no idea who 'the tall one' was!"
Boss: "Well, find out."

The question of who could get blamed for anything constantly hung in the air. Everyone was always trying to cover their asses, hoping not to get screamed at. I'm not saying she screamed all the time. Just enough of the time.

Sundays
Figuring maybe I just needed time to find a way to deal with the situation, that maybe I could adjust to, or get used to the way things went, I tried to stick it out. But day after day I got more stressed. I would have a knot in my stomach each evening because I knew I'd have to get up and go to work the next day. Sundays were the worst. I started to cry for very little reason in the weekends. I was sick to my stomach, got headaches, lost sleep.

And so I quit. I chose sanity and happiness over money and I quit.

Ballsy or stupid?
The question is: do we call that ballsy or stupid? I haven't found another job yet. I've been on a few interviews, but for one reason or the other, it hasn't worked out. So: hello insecurity, short time no see.

I really need a break. Is there anyone out there looking for a good writer? I am excellent in both dutch and english, written and verbal. Also good with content management (WordPress, even a little Joomla), Photoshop, newsletters (HTML, Constant Contact, MailChimp), social media, the works. I would love to hear from you.

15Jun/140

Edelwise Festival: quirky and fun

Edelwise Festival in Rembrandtpark, AmsterdamLast Summer I was working on my thesis at a company on the other side of Rembrandtpark. Every day I would cycle to work through this lovely park with its lovely ponds, trees and fields, and gorgeous views. But one day a big chunk of the park was fenced off, what was going on back there? Turned out Edelwise was organising its first festival, right in our back yard!

Edelwise hosts monthly drinks and a party at Het Sieraad in Amsterdam's hot borough in west: De Baarsjes. Arty, quirky and fun are good words to describe their activities. At these experimental Fridays you can expect anything from singing saws to a workshop learning how to play the ukelele to of course DJs and dancing later in the evening.

Edelwise festival extras
This year's festival promises fun stuff like ping pong, karaoke, and silent disco. Also, just like last year, you can tie the knot at Edelwise! Of course there's good food, and lots of music. DJs to be expected, among others: Dotan (live), La Pegatina (live), Kraak & Smaak and the ever fabulous (and newly married!) Joost van Bellen.

Fancy getting married for a day? You can at Edelwise Festival!

More info:
Edelwise Festival
26 July 2014
Rembrandtpark, Amsterdam

See you there?!

PS Very cool: there are (limited) free tickets available for people who live near Rembrandtpark. See the website for more info on free Edelwise tickets for neighbours.

Photo credits: Peter Bezemer

9May/141

The thing about rain..

The other day I thought to myself how good the weather's been lately: "I haven't got rained on for a while," I said to myself as I got on my bicycle. Famous last words..

Just now I left the house, got on my bike to go to Sloterdijk station, turned the corner and was taken aback by the ominous sky ahead. But I figured: "I'm on my way now, how bad can it get?"

Raining cats and dogs in AmsterdamThe thing about rain is, that if it hasn't bothered you for a while, you forget how bad it can get. The other thing about rain is, that whenever a few drops fall, you tend to think: "A few drops won't kill me." But then the sky bursts open, spewing forth lashings of rain, hailstones, thunder, lightning, cats, dogs, the works.

And here I am, still miles from my destination, soaked to my undies, with water in my sneakers. Welcome to the Dutch Spring!

 

 

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28Mar/140

It pays to be kind

One of my first memories of Amsterdam was when I was following my first photography course in the Bethanienstraat. I was seventeen or so and didn't live in Amsterdam then, but somewhere near Utrecht. To be honest, I was a bit green, and being accosted on the street by pimps and other shady figures in the red light district (shadier then than it is now) was new to me. "No thank you," was my go to response to offers of telephone numbers, drugs and dates.

Then one evening, as I was making my way to the Bethanienstraat for my lesson, after having been shopping on the Kalverstraat, a woman asked me for directions. She was from Iceland and very, very drunk. She was so drunk, she had no clue how to get back to her hotel. I didn't know either, but went inside a shop to ask, they told me the general direction. As it was on my way, I told her I would walk her halfway. After all, if I was hopeless and lost in a foreign city, wouldn't I want someone to help me?

The lady was drunkenly rambling, about her job (she was in town for a convention of some sort), her brother (who had been in an accident and had been run over by a car), and on and on, clinging to me with her heartstoppingly alcoholic breath.

On the Dam I pointed her in the direction of Central Station. I told her to go there, her hotel was opposite the station (according to the guy in the shop I'd asked directions in). She pulled me close, hugging me to her, while she fumbled in her trousers. I can remember being surprised, thinking: "What the?" Then she pressed a crumpled 25 guilder note in my hand and disappeared in the crowd.

I didn't get a chance to tell her I didn't want her money. I didn't even get a chance to say: "Thank you!" I just stood there, flabbergasted, with the money in my hand. I framed that note (in the exact crumpled state I received it in) and didn't spend it for over a decade. It hung on the wall in my room as a reminder that it pays to be kind.